Thoughts For The Day

Some memorable quotes and jokes that perhaps help to sum up where I’m coming from. Enjoy:

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
– Peter Kay

It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
– Woody Allen

I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.
– Groucho Marx

Trying is the first step towards failure.
– Homer Simpson

The world’s oldest goldfish was 42. He put his long life down to regular early morning swims.
– Jimmy Carr

If greed is all you feel and be, fear and hate shall follow thee.
– Raj Honurt

Your wiener, my balls, they’re all public domain.
Eric Cartman, South Park

I’m not going to call an ambulance this time because, if I do, you won’t learn anything.
– Brian Griffin, Family Guy

I used to work for a one-armed typist. It was mostly shift work.
– Tim Vine

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
– Peter Kaye

I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.
– Groucho Marx

Success has never been about money, it has always been about doing the things in life that you dreamed of every day.
Hermann J Steinherr

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
– W C Fields

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
Steve Martin

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
– Mark Twain

I’m a mog. Half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend.
– Barf, Spaceballs

Brian: Look, you’ve got it all wrong! You don’t need to follow me. You don’t need to follow anybody! You’ve got to think for yourselves! You’re all individuals!

Crowd: [in unison] Yes! We’re all individuals!

Brian: You’re all different!

Crowd: [in unison] Yes, we are all different!

Man in crowd: I’m not…

Crowd: Shhh!

Life Of Brian, Monty Python